17 November 2009

Post About High-School Gang Rape

There was a gang rape at a high school prom. Around 20 people stood around and watched while around 10 guys beat up and raped a teenaged girl. No one called 9/11 or told authorites until it was pretty much over.

Of course, this is not good. What bugs me is all the critics on their high-horses not realizing that this is a human tendency to ignore the suffering of the individual in favor of going along with the group.

Here's the link to the original thread

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Re: The bystanders standing by and doing nothing as the girl was gang-raped:

This was groupthink in action. Groupthink involves going along with the group in order to not risk rejection from the group. Groupthink was happening big-time in Nazi Germany. No one is exempt from engaging in groupthink. WE ALL DO IT. We all engage in groupthink in varying degrees. We are afraid to lose the social support of our social group, so we sell others down the river. Our social support comes first; those suffering greatly come second. We have all sorts of glib socially-acceptable rationalizations for doing this.

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Note to those who are harshly
judging the bystanders
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Don't imagine you are exempt from this kind of groupthink behavior. If you are a human being, you frequently sell you fellow human beings down the river in order to "save your skin" from ridicule or rejection from your social group. For example, this kind of selling-down-the-river behavior happens all the time in junior high. All of us have been on the giving and/or receiving end of rejection for not being "cool" or "tough" or whatever. Not unusual. No surprise.

Rejection happens because you want to save your skin socially -- you might be laughed at, or get your **** kicked by the gang, or not be allowed to marry your beloved, etc. You think: If I let my peer twist in the wind, I won't have to endure the rejection from the group, and I might get the girl (or guy). You come first. Justice comes second.

Again, it's just a matter of degree. Not calling 911 when the girl was being raped is just a more vivid form of what we all do off-and-on. You spent $5 at the coffee shop for a drink and a pastry, when you could've given comfort to a desperately poor elderly person. But you didn't because you didn't want to spoil the nice chat you were having with your friend. Your social connectedness was more important than the sick old lady's suffering.

Maintaining social connectness before relieving the distress of another human being happens all the time. "If I don't look professional in this coffee shop meeting, I might not get my bonus, and then I might not be able to send my kids to private schools, and that will be embarrassing. Let the sick old lady rot. My avoiding embarrassment comes first." There are all sorts of socially acceptable ways to cloak what is going on, but make no mistake: The opinions of your peers came before the suffering of others. We all do it. Peers, yes. Jeers, no. Putting money in a Salvation Army can doesn't get you off the hook.

Another example: I've seen women panic because something is spilled in the kitchen, and company is coming over, and the visitors will think the place is germy, so WIPE IT UP! "We don't live like pigs around here!" Once able to look at germs objectively, these neat-freaks start to actually BELEIVE the place is too germy. Advertisers milk this tendency to worry about what others think: "What will the in-laws think if they smell those odors...? No problem, buy our glorified bleach solution 'ZAP-THE-DIRT' and pay 20 times what you'd pay if you just used ordinary bleach and water. Then they'll not reject you. You'll be happy."

After the guests leave, knowing that Ms So-and-so has a pseudo-non-germy household, with Ms So-and-so feeling comfortable and accepted, Ms So-and-so will promptly bed down her husband and lick out the inside of his mouth, and lick his groin, and suck his toes and unwashed fingers, even though he hasn't showered for hours -- even approaching 24 hours, sometimes more. A feast of germs! This stuff happens all the time. Why doesn't Ms. So-and-so care about lapping up all of those teeming germs when she was flipping out earlier about the spill in the kitchen? Because none of her friends will know about about it, or care, and won't reject her. That spiel she was having earlier about germs being bad was self-delusion. She doesn't really worry that much about germs. She worries about looking good and not being rejected. Advertisers eys light up with dollar signs when the hear such thinking. Mad Magazine was built on these delusions.

"But I love my husband!' Ms. So-and-so will say. There you go again: Social connectedness is more important than germs.

So those who casting stones, don't get too high on your horses about the bystanders who didn't call 9/11. You sell your fellow human beings down the river all the time in the same way. It's just a matter of degree. The decision to give another person thumb-up or thumbs-down depends greatly on whether they give you social aid and comfort, or not. This process is very mercenary, but generally shrouded in self-delusion.

NOTE FROM AUTHOR: Yes, of course the bystanders should be censured and punished. What I dispute is anyone being surprised or shocked at their behavior. We all do it.(To those who already understand that everyone is involved in groupthink every day, and take responsiblity for it, this spiel is not directed at you.)
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