Part of the reason a big deal is being made about this is because marriage and sex form a bond, and when that bond is torn apart by infidelity, the pain is, for many, is easily the greatest they will ever endure. That someone in such a high position of responsibility could consciously inflict such pain is what I suspect many are reacting to. Many find that very scary and dismaying, and for good reason: Infidelity could happen to them, and they are looking for our leaders to help them out by setting the proper example. That is at least partly why the name "Betray Us" comes so easily to the lips of many.
Another reason Petraeus is being held to a higher standard is because he is one of the leading and most prominent representatives of the military culture (even though he was retired and head of CIA at the time of the affair, that cachet remains). The attraction of the military culture, is, for many, that you are part of a sacred band or "tribe" of others who will give their lives for you, no questions asked, and will never break that covenant for personal convenience, ever -- personal preferences do not enter in the equation -- and will unhesitatingly follow the rules designed to preserve that sacred bond. It is impressive how soldiers with legs blown off, or who have endured some other similarly egregious injury, upon coming out of anesthesia in the hospital will say that they immediately want to get back to their platoon. It is that kind of deep sacred "tribal" feel and bonding I am talking about. For Petraeus, as an exemplar of that culture, to cheat on his wife, undermines that which so many consider to be the most important thing in the world -- following through on one's word, and being deeply loyal. This is what Petraeus violated. He is seen as having betrayed that sacred covenant for personal convenience. He is seen as letting down untold numbers of his fellow human beings. This is, in part, why the backlash against his actions is so strong.
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