http://www.psychologytoday.
I see sex as have two very significant functions biologically (and maybe more than two functions, but I will talk here about just two functions). Sex:
1) Ensures continuation of the species by producing a baby.
2) Promotes bonding of the partners in order to maximize the chances of the baby surviving.
To me, losing a partner to whom you are bonded is like ripping off a limb. Bonding is like crazy-glue on the skin: It hurts like crazy to rip apart the bond.
[Revisions added to this blog entry on 8-3-12 - this post is different than the online version]
[Revisions added to this blog entry on 8-3-12 - this post is different than the online version]
So, jealousy stems from a fully understandable, biologically rational fear of the pain of having a bond ripped apart. Having a bond ripped apart hurts, hurts, hurts! -- and for a very good reason: it is what holds societies and families together. It promotes the continuation of humankind. That bond is put there by the big guy in the sky, as it were, and he don't play!
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I added this comment
soon after I made the comment, above
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I want to add to my comment above that jealousy is not a character flaw, such as a self-centered desire to be favored, nearly so much as it is a healthy symptom of a threat to the cohesiveness of society. Those who have as a default attitude that jealousy is sort of like a character flaw, a deficiency to be overcome, are misunderstanding the situation, in my judgement. Jealousy is more like an instinctive, justified concern that one's house might burn down. It is appropriate and positive to be thinking about how and why one's house might burn down. There is nothing wrong, and a whole lot right, with this attitude. Of course, as with anything involving vigilance, this attitude can be carried to a counterproductive extreme - such as in the case of OCD - but I am talking here about normal, healthy behavior.
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I added this comment
soon after I made the comment, above
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I want to add to my comment above that jealousy is not a character flaw, such as a self-centered desire to be favored, nearly so much as it is a healthy symptom of a threat to the cohesiveness of society. Those who have as a default attitude that jealousy is sort of like a character flaw, a deficiency to be overcome, are misunderstanding the situation, in my judgement. Jealousy is more like an instinctive, justified concern that one's house might burn down. It is appropriate and positive to be thinking about how and why one's house might burn down. There is nothing wrong, and a whole lot right, with this attitude. Of course, as with anything involving vigilance, this attitude can be carried to a counterproductive extreme - such as in the case of OCD - but I am talking here about normal, healthy behavior.
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